![]() As for me, a person with a certain amount of entrenched cynicism about that which culture deploys as “necessary” and “legitimizing” and “vitally important,” the video reminds me comfortingly that weddings are one moment, just like anything else: “So never mind the darkness, we still can find a way … ‘Cause nothin’ lasts forever, even cold November rain.” The video doesn’t just tackle the big day, it delves where others fear to tread, wedding-wise-into the messy lifespan of a couple, even if that lifespan is far too short, and mostly fictional. Then again: From the ridiculous, performative ceremony to the ruined cake, Guns N Roses seem to have known quite a lot about the tyranny of the wedding industrial complex, how this thing supposedly about love is also about patriarchy and capitalism and long-held expectations and the shoulder-crushing weight of our many unspoken disappointments. I admit, “November Rain” is a weird song to want to play at a wedding. The joy has turned to pain, as expressed most keenly by the tormented visage and haunting vocal stylings of Axl, who now can’t sleep at night without the aid of pills. ![]() This time, the circumstances are darker: She’s in a casket, her face half covered by a mirror, and it’s all very mysterious. Later-not much later, because no one has aged even slightly-the bride has died, and we’re back at the church. The last scene here is of a ruined table, blood-red wine spilling across it. An unnamed guy with a flowing brown mane and khakis jumps sideways through the many tiers of the wedding cake in his urgent effort to reach safety, even though it’s only rain and presumably people could have just walked calmly to another location. An out-of-the-blue downpour-November rain, don’t you know it!-strikes, causing guests to run for cover. Later, the happy couple celebrates with guests at an outdoor reception at what appears to be either an Italian villa or the sort of New Jersey wedding venue that’s called “The Italian Villa.” Midway through the ceremony, Slash leaves the church to stand bare-chested in the otherwise empty desert for a face-melting guitar solo in the end, his belly button must be full of dust, but the cigarette dangling from his lips remains intact. When Slash can’t find the rings, Duff saves the day: He’s had them on his leather-gloved pinky the whole time! The priest looks like Joe Pesci in a toupee. There’s humor to temper the decadence, a kind of goofy play you don’t expect. Stephanie Seymour, Axl’s actual girlfriend at the time, plays the bride, clad in a mullet of a dress that’s mini in front and business in the back Axl is the groom in a gold brocade Liberace-esque suit. Interspersed between scenes of Axl Rose playing the piano flanked by a crowd of violinists and Axl Rose tossing and turning in bed, there’s an over-the-top church ceremony. ![]() It’s centered on a wedding that ends comedically and a marriage that ends tragically. The video, directed by Andy Morahan, cost an epic $1.5 million, a mere drop in the bucket for your average celebrity nuptial. He had seen it, he reminded me: I played it on one of our early dates. No matter, I said, they could learn it! I mean, had he ever even seen the “November Rain” video, a 9-minute epic with the flavor of a jelly bean that looks like lemon and turns out to be earwax? And then I dropped a bomb: we absolutely had to play the lengthy 1991 Guns N’ Roses power ballad, “November Rain.” “But we’re having a disco band,” my fiance protested. We’d serve our favorite foods, and plenty of wine. Soon after getting engaged last fall, I sat down with my fiance to talk wedding details.
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